Writing on the Walls
by MandyJai13
Summary: After Glease, Santana realizes just how bad she misses Brittany. They reconnect, however Santana discovers just how much Brittany's been hiding. Will she be able to fix the mess she's made? Rated M for sweet lady kiss, language and self hatred


**Writing on the Walls  
One shot**

Santana's POV

Nervousness consumed me as I knocked on the door of the Pierce house. I stepped back and waited for a few seconds until the door was swung open by a tall blonde girl with piercing blue eyes. _Brittany._Seeing her again made my heart flutter. Sure I'd just seen her after our performance of Grease, but this time it was different. We stared at each other for a long time before she finally spoke.

"Hey… what are you doing here?" her tone wasn't rude or bitchy, she just sounded confused. "I miss you." I told her shyly. "I miss you too Santana, more than anything. But I thought we already said that earlier?" Her eyes lingered questioningly on mine. I glanced down at my feet and sighed. "We did, but I just… I just couldn't stop myself from coming over, seeing you earlier finally made me realize just how sucky my life has been without you." I looked up at her cautiously, not wanting to meet her eyes just yet. "I thought since I'm here and you said you weren't seeing anyone that maybe we could like do something together?" I finally met her eyes seeing them light up for the first time in what seemed like forever. I mentally noted that even throughout the musical the last few days I hadn't seen a smile truly reach Britt's eyes. Sure I saw her smile a lot, almost too much even for her, like she was hiding something.

Before I could process that last thought I felt her tugging at my hand, urging me inside. I smiled and followed her shutting the door behind us. "Do you want to watch a movie? Maybe we can watch a Disney movie. I don't really watch cartoons anymore but since you're here…" her tone was light and casual but I could hear a distinct sadness there; and since when did Brittany not watch cartoons? That's all we used to watch, she hates anything else. "Sure Britt, I'd love to." I saw her smile again, but again it didn't really touch her eyes. Part of me couldn't help but wonder if she even wanted me here, I quickly pushed that thought aside when I heard her speak. "Which one do you want? I don't really care." Her eyes met mine and for a second I saw pain buried deep in those ocean blue orbs. But just as quickly as I noticed it, it was gone. My heart pounded in my chest as I registered her words and how quickly she had put on her "happy face" when she realized her slip. I'd never seen Britt like this; she was always so bubbly and quirky. As I studied her closer I saw just how hard she was trying to convey that. But I know her and I can see it's nothing more than an act. My heart crumbles at my sudden revelation.

"Let's watch Cinderella. That is one of my favorites…" I let my sentence trail off hoping she caught the innuendo in my voice. Cinderella has always been my favorite Disney movie, simply because Brittany was the Cinderella to my Price Charming.

After she popped the DVD in she came to sit on the couch next to me. I felt my heart break a little when she kept her distance from me. We sat in silence for a few minutes just watching the screen until I couldn't help speaking up. "Britt, what's wrong? I thought you wanted to have this night together? But all night it just feels like you are so far away from me, even though you're right here. I mean if you want me to leave…" I tried really hard to contain myself but I felt a tear run down my face. Britt sighed. "Of course I want you here, I always want you here. But just a few hours again you still said we couldn't be together, I don't exactly know what I'm supposed to do now." Her voice was so sad, almost a whimper as she let the words out, never meeting my gaze.

"Britt, I know what I said… and it was true because I don't want to hurt you when I have to leave again. But I still love you, more than anything and I really just want to have tonight to be together." I felt a few more tears on my cheeks. I wish I could tell her how badly I needed her, not just in this moment but always. I wish she could know how much I want to be with her, that I'm trying to do this so she isn't hurting. I meet her eyes for a second trying to communicate everything to her without having to speak it. She must understand because I feel her slip closer to me, pulling my head to her chest and wrapping me up in her embrace. I can't help the flood of emotions that gushes through me, it feels like I'd been drowning and have finally found air, like my whole world just fell into place, like I'm home. I snuggle impossibly closer, wanting absolutely no space in-between us; not only physically but emotionally as well. I look up at her through my eye lashed and press a soft kiss to her neck "I love you Britt." She sighs, but kisses my forehead and wraps me tighter in her arms. "I love you too."

We start to watch the movie again but before it was even halfway over it was long forgotten. She now has me wrapped up in her arms pressing her body as close to mine as she can manage. Her lips are trailing soft kisses all over my face, neck and arms while I do the same to her. Feeling her like this again makes my knees weak as the butterflies dance around in my stomach. We wrap ourselves together even tighter than before, in a tender kiss full of love as we hear the credits playing in the background. After several minutes Britt pulls away. "My parents are gone for the weekend. Stay with me?" I leaned down kissing her again. "Yes. I want that. More than anything."

Her face lights up at my words. Before I can respond she grabs me and dashes up the stairs, stopping when we reach her bedroom. Britt quickly pulls me inside wrapping her arms around my waist and kissing me deeply. At this point I feel like I'm going to faint from what's happening. Everything is overwhelming; being here with her like this again brings back so many memories. I feel the ache in my chest as I remember every perfect moment spent with the girl I love.

As the sadness starts to consume me I feel myself being pulled back by Brittany's hands all over my body. She is pulling at the material of my clothes trying to rid my body of the restrictive garments. I feel a warmth rush up to my cheeks when she pulls my shirt over my head. It's been so long since we've seen each other like this and I start to feel a little shy at the realization. I drop my head, looking at the floor, my cheeks a bright red. "Santana, baby look up at me please." I feel a petite hand lift my chin and meet my eyes. Brilliant blue shines back at me as I look at her. In that moment I see everything that I want with her; our wedding, our home, our family, our life together. A tear rolls down my face, but she quickly wipes it away. "Baby if you don't want this… it's okay. Just tell me." I could hear the sadness in her voice and it broke everything inside of me.

I lean in and press our lips together, but this time it's warm and soft, each one of us caressing the other. My hands roam her body, slowly pulling the offending clothing off of her beautiful body as we walk toward her bed, never breaking our kiss. I push her down and climb onto of her; letting her remove the last material separating us. We resume our passionate lip lock exploring every inch of the other, hands roaming, tongue colliding, hips thrusting. Britt removes her mouth from mine but immediately begins kissing around my neck and jaw; then I feel her lips and tongue swirl around my earlobe and I can't help panting out her name. Within seconds I hear her soft, sexy voice in my ear. "Santana, make love to me. Please, I want to feel you, to touch you. _I need you_"

I slowly run my fingers down her body stopping just about her center, I look into her eyes "I love you Brittany. I want to make love to you. To show you exactly how I feel." I hear her moan my name as I gently rub her clit. I use my fingers to work circles around her before moving lower, coating my fingers in her wetness before sliding two inside of her. "Oh Santana, baby, so good." Her words sent heat straight to my core. I begin to pump my fingers into her finding a gentle rhythm. Britt continued to moan and pant into my ear which only fuels me. I love feeling her like this, being _inside_ of her was heaven. Lost in my own feelings as I listened to her beautiful noises I miss her slipping a hand down between my legs. She runs a finger up my slit causing me to moan. She wastes no time slipping inside of me, matching my rhythm. "Mmm Britt, you feel amazing inside of me. I love making love to you." She shivered underneath me as we continued to pump into each other.

She started to tremble and her walls tighten around my fingers. Feeling the sensation causes my own orgasm to rock through me. We collapse, leaving our fingers buried in one another. I lean up and kiss her again. She pulls away and stares into my eyes a smile playing on her lips. "I love you" my heart swells. I smile at her, "That was incredible. You are incredible. I didn't know it was possible to love someone as much as I love you." At my words she snuggles closer. Within moments we were tucked under the covers, wrapped together as we slide into a peaceful sleep.

* * *

When I open my eyes everything is dark, I stretch a little and remember that I'm at Brittany's. I smile goofily to myself. I look down and see her head resting on my naked chest, blonde hair splayed out. She looks peaceful. I could sit her forever and watch her dream. She is breathtakingly beautiful; however after a few moments of staring I realize I need to go to the bathroom. I silently curse my bladder. I roll out from under her, careful not to wake her up and walk over to the bathroom attached to her room. I turn on the light and squint at the sudden brightness. I rub my eyes trying to adjust, however the second I do I wish I could un-see everything.

Tears begin to fall from my eyes as I look around the bathroom taking everything in. Britt's bathroom is almost the same as the last time I'd seen it; a rubber duck shower curtain, a unicorn rug and My Little Pony toothbrushes, one for each of us. But something was different.

Sobs escape my throat as I fall to my knees. Covering the bright yellow walls of the bathroom are hundreds of words and phrases written in bright red crayon. My heart, which was swelling with love seconds ago, broke as I read the words over and over. _Ugly._ _Not good enough. Stupid. Alone. Not pretty enough. Dumb blonde. Broken. Not good enough for her. Damaged goods. Retarded. Loser. Failure. No one will ever want me. Disappointment. Fat. Stupid and Worthless. Worthless... Worthless…_

My sobs echo through the bathroom as I stare at her handwriting on the walls. I silently curse myself; I've made her feel like this. I know she's a good actress, but I never imagined she was this good of one. This is too much. I never imagined that it would be this bad; for her to write these negative, hurtful things about herself. My heart broke again as I imagine my baby waking up every morning for sweet, wonderful dreams until she remembers her pain and walks into this nightmare. Reading over the blood red walls, tearing herself down, reminding her that she feels worthless, or worse, maybe Brittany actually thinks she is all of those things. I sit there for what feels like forever, sobbing as I continue reading the words over.

After what seemed like hours I pulled myself off of the floor, determined to erase all of this for her. Brittany is the most beautiful and amazing girl in the entire world. Her hiding this to take care of everyone else just proves that. My baby girl is special, the most perfect thing in the entire world and I am going to make her see that no matter what. I wipe the tears from my eyes and remove my smudged mascara before quietly returning to Britt's room to get dressed. As I finish I look over at my sleeping beauty and silently walk over to her. The moonlight coming in through her window dances off of her pale skin making it look like fresh fallen snow. Her lips are in a slight pout almost like even in her dream she can't escape the pain. I take in a deep breath and lean over to her pressing my lips to her forehead. "I love you Brittany. I will be back before you even know I'm gone. I promise I'm going to fix this, somehow."

* * *

Two hours later I return to Britt's house with several bags in my arms. I unlock the front door and head upstairs. Thankfully my beautiful baby is still sound asleep in her bed, her naked skin glowing now from small amount of light streaming in through the window. I put down the bags and walk over to the window to draw the curtains; I need her to sleep in longer to finish everything. In minutes I have all of the bags dumped out on the bathroom floor with an old t-shirt hanging off my otherwise naked body. Stroke after stroke I slowly cover the awful words that adorn the walls. I'd decided to paint the bathroom pink, after careful consideration. It takes about an hour to finish the pink, but it takes me another half hour to stencil in a bunch of red hearts. As I paint I reminisce about our first Valentine's Day together. Britt had told me that night that it was one of the best of her life, hence the paint job. When I'm done I peak into the bedroom to make sure she is still asleep, I sigh in contentment when I see her naked neck and chest, she is like a flawless sculpture, I could stare at her body forever, but there is more work to be done. I take out a bouquet of red roses from the bag next to her bed and place them on the table beside her bed with a small handwritten note.

After I place the note and flower I head back into the bathroom with a black sharpie. In every red heart I write something to contradict the words previously covering the walls. I smile when I step back to admire everything that I've written, but I know I still have to add one small touch. I draw a big heart on the mirror in red lipstick and fill it in with words using black eyeliner. Perfect.

I clean up my mess and change into a clean t-shirt then I slip into the room and curl into the bed next to Britt. I can see the sun beginning to rise outside and look over at the clock, its 6:30 in the morning. I groan a little at that, but I know it will be worth it. I cuddle up to her pressing our chests together, tangling our legs up. I rest my head above her left breast right over her heart. I can't believe the overwhelming feeling of being home. It doesn't take long to drift off to sleep.

* * *

Brittany's POV:

Before I'm even completely awake I register the feel of warm, soft curves pressed into me. I take a breath and my nose fills with the sweet scent of cinnamon and _her._ I look down and see Santana's hair covering my chest, her arms curled around me, our legs intertwined. I pull her closer, who knows when I will ever get to feel her like this again. Last night we never really talked about what would happen now, were we getting back together or would she run away again and leave me alone. I sigh but pull her impossibly closer. I feel a small tear escape my eyes at all the uncertainty. I can't live without her; she is everything, my heart, my soul, my entire world. I take a deep breath to steady my fears, trying to relish in this moment. She is here, in my arms, we're safe, and we're together. I feel my heart beat a little faster when I remember how it felt to make love to her. It felt like heaven. Just like every time before.

As I lay there thinking I realize how thirsty I feel and reluctantly pull away, careful not to wake my sleeping princess. When I turn over I see something unfamiliar sitting on the table there. I sit up and look back at the beautiful girl in my bed. _Did she do this?_ I pick up the bouquet of flowers and bring them to my nose, inhaling their beautiful scent. That's when I notice a small folded piece of paper lying where the flowers were only moments before. I pick it up, unfold it and begin to read the words.

_To Brittany, mi amor,_

_Have I ever told you that you're beautiful?  
Or that you're the most amazing girl I've ever met?  
Have I ever mentioned that I love the way the light glimmers against your skin?  
Or that I could watch you dream for hours?  
Have I told you that I love you more than anything in this world?  
Or that without you I will never be whole?  
Have I ever mentioned that I want to spend forever with you, and that even that will never be enough?  
Or that I spend hours picturing our house, our kids and our life together?  
Have I ever told you that I love you?  
Or that I will never, ever love anyone else?  
Maybe I haven't said all of these things, maybe some of them I haven't said enough.  
Maybe I need to say that I'm sorry, sorry for every time I've hurt you, sorry for leaving you.  
But I'm not sorry for this, I'm not sorry for loving you.  
I can't express with words how much you mean to me, so please forgive me?  
If you will have me back I promise to spend every day showing you exactly how much I love you.  
I will give you everything you deserve and every ounce of I love that I have._

_Te amo para siempre,  
Santana_

Hot tears spill from my eyes as I read her words; it's the most beautiful thing I've ever read. In that moment every ounce of hurt and pain, all of the feelings of worthlessness wash away. She wants to be with me. My insides feel like they are exploding with joy, filling with love. I look over at her again. I want to wake her up, kiss her, hold her and caress every inch of her. I want to tell her how much I love her, and that I do want to be with her again. But as I look at her tiny sleepy form I just can't bear to wake her up, so instead I decide to go get a drink of water and a few tissues in the bathroom.

I climb out of bed carefully, throw on a t-shirt and walk over to the door, shuttering as I reach for the handle. I know what's behind this door. All of the pain and hurt I felt without Santana. Every feeling of worthlessness, every heart break, every reason I thought she didn't want me anymore. More tears fell from my eyes and I recoil from the handle as if it's hot. I look back over my shoulder at her and then turn back to face the door. Those things weren't true anymore, Santana wants me, she loves me and with that knowledge I know I can to anything. I swing the door open ready to see the blood red words on the walls, but what I see causes my knees to buckle, thankfully I catch myself on the door frame. The walls are no longer yellow, nor covered in vicious red crayon. Instead the walls are a bright pink, covered in beautiful red hearts, each one with something written in black sharpie. _Wonderful. Breathtakingly beautiful. My love. My soulmate. I want to be with you forever. Santana's girl. Voice of an angel. Amazing. I want to spend my life with you. Flawless body. Gorgeous eyes. I love you. Forever and ever._ _You are my life_.

More tears poor from my eyes, but this time they are from happiness. Santana had done all of this for me, done all of this because she loves. A huge smile spreads across my face. I turn to face the mirror wanting to get rid of the tear tracks quickly so I can wake my love and thank her for all of this when I see another big red heart on the mirror. My heart stops when I read the three words _Be Mine, forever?_

Before I can even think about what I'm doing I run into my room and launch myself onto the bed, attaching my lips to the sleeping girl's. I put everything I have into the kiss and it doesn't take long for her to respond. I feel her tugging at my body pulling me closer and I run my tongue across her lips begging for entrance, which she quickly grants. I press into her, every part of our bodies connecting as we share a kiss that utters a thousand words. I reluctantly pull away because I have to say something and need to say it before this gets any more heated. She looks up at me a little confused but before she can say anything I put my fingers to her lips. "Yes." She stills seems a lost, "Santana, I love you. More than anything, especially now after everything you've done today. So my answer is yes, yes I want to be yours… forever." The smile that appears on her face could light Time Square. She pulls me down for a brief kiss before flipping us over and climbing off of me, reaching for the dresser. I want to protest until she pulls me to the edge of the bed, I let my legs dangle over the side as she stands in front of me. "Brittany Susan Pierce, I love you, and I'm sorry I messed up. But I promise from now on to love you and give you everything you deserve every single day of forever…" As she speaks she drops to one knee in front of me and holds up small, sparkly ring. "Britt, this is a promise ring. I didn't have enough for an engagement ring yet, but I want you to know that this is me promising to love you and only you with all of my heart and soul, forever. If you will have me…" Tears fall down my cheeks again. "Yes Santana, I want to be with you forever, and this is a perfect start." I let her place the ring on my left hand and I feel my heart explode from all the love I feel. That's when I remember that I still have a ring too. The day Santana broke up with me I was going to ask her to marry me, to stay with me forever. I sigh, knowing it's better not to bring up those forgotten memories.

I stand and hurry over to my jewelry box and pull out a smaller velvet box. Santana is watching me intently her eyes widening when she sees it so I walk over to where she is standing. "Baby, I bought this ring a while ago because I wanted to ask you to marry me. After everything, I just tucked it away hoping that one day you'd come back to me and I'd get my chance. It looks like fate has a funny way of working things out." I open the box to reveal a small silver band with two tiny unicorns and several small diamonds. Santana looks at me and I can feel everything inside of her heart. I take the ring out and place it on her finger following it with a kiss.

It doesn't take us long to tangle in each other's embraces. We spend every minute of that day making love to each other, whispering sweet words to the other. Today is truly the first day of the rest of our forever.

* * *

**I hope you all enjoyed this story, I'd love to hear your comments in the review. Also if you are reading either of my stories "Touch My Body" or "Take Me or Leave Me" I will be updating soon. I just couldn't continue either because this story was stuck in my head. Thanks for reading.**


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